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THE LIGHT IS ON BUT NOBODY IS HOME!
Welcome to 'Closed Doors' the random rants of David Roche, Internet nut and entrepreneur, currently doing my stuff in Warsaw, Poland.
Unless you know me, you're probably not going to find anything of use on this blog. For the past 12 years or so, I have been producing websites for other people or producing sites with the intention of making money from them. I have never produced anything on the World Wide Web that has no point, no meaning and is of no use to anyone - Until now! Closed Doors is my way of letting off some steam, my way of adding another batch of worthless pages to the great cyber-bin that the Internet has become!
I picked the title for my blog very carefully. Those of you who know me or will get to know me by reading these pages will quickly see that I have a habit of 'moving on' and closing doors behind me. A habit, by the way that I am trying desperately to quit.
As I started to develop this blog, I made myself a promise that I will never lie about anything that I write on these pages and this is a promise I intend to keep. What you read is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, this blog is for me, not you - so there's no point in lying to myself right?
I often wonder about my mental health, sometimes I really do believe that I am an absolute fruit cake, other times I just think that everyone else has a problem. I will let you the reader decide that for yourself. Are any of you out there budding psychiatrists? Well I'm happy to hear your views, should I reside in a padded cell or not?
You need to know a lot more about me first don't you? Well here's the first batch of useless information for you to begin your analysis! See the blood-stained notice to the left-hand-side of this page? On it are the five things I most hate in the whole world. Whingers, Wasters, Liars, Rain and Miserable people.
I am fairly confident that I will have a lot more to say about these five things as this utterly pointless little blog develops into an utterly pointless big blog.
On this page, you will find what I believe to be a good introduction to the person who is David Roche. There's plenty more deeper and darker stuff in the Me section so if you really want to, have a read!
22 October 2009.
Some people have nice kids!
I have three children, Chloe, Tom and Sara Marie. I am close to Chloe & Tom but don't see them as much as I want to. They live on the Wirral Peninsula in the UK with their mother (my ex).
Regrettably, I have not seen Sara Marie since she was about two years old. Sara was born in August 1988 so she is now a young woman of 21 years of age and I could walk past her in the street and not recognise here! That sucks doesn't it?
I met Sara's mother when I was serving in the British Army in Germany. I was stationed in a place called Hohne near a town called Bergen (very close to Bergen-Belsen Concentration Camp). We fell in love, got married fairly quickly for all of the wrong reasons and managed to stay married for a whole five years before it all went pear shaped and we divorced. It's easy to list reasons why it didn't work. We were young, I was in the Army and at the time of the split was working in an Apprentice College which meant long hours and too much time in the Sergeant's Mess , Stefanie was missing Germany etc. etc. The truth is that we both just gave up! Why do people do that?
I was messed up for a while after the split and really missed my little girl. I tried to keep in touch for a while and even took a trip to Germany with my father to see Sara who was living with her mother in Bremen at the time. Even after just a short time, it was difficult communicating with Sara as she had forgotten her English and my German was OK but not geared towards speaking to a two year old girl. It was a bitter-sweet trip to Germany, I was happy that I had seen my daughter but sad because I already knew that I would probably not see her again, I was about to close another door!
I have always believed that I will meet Sara again and I would like that to happen.
As for Chloe and Tom, well I see them as much as I can, as much as my job and my money will allow me to. This year we spent three weeks together in El Toro, Mallorca where I was living and we had a really good time. It just went to quickly! I love Chloe and Tom very much. I miss them like crazy. We speak often via Skype or leave each other messages on Twitter and I plan to spend as much time with them in the future as I can. This is one door that's staying well and truly open!
By the way, if you're wondering what the picture is, it's my one and only tattoo. It's a cobra with bat wings; which is pretty much my worst nightmare - a flying snake! They say that you should keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. Well, in a strange kind of way, I believe this tattoo keeps the bad dreams away and you really should have a story for a tattoo right?
22 October 2009.
I believe in fate!
The greatest thing that has happened to me in my somewhat complex life so far is my children and Iwona, my gorgeous, beautiful and caring partner of 2 years, 4 months and 1 week .
There is no doubt about it, I am a dificult man to live with. I don't know why exactly but I always seem to get bored very quickly with the person I am with. I have often thought this was linked to my childhood which was spent moving from one location to another, from one school to another. My father was in the British Army so we tended to move around a lot; which I always found kind of exciting. I enjoyed being able to re-invent myself in a new place, to start again on a blank sheet of paper... Unlike most people, I thrived off change. Change was a good thing!
Perhaps this is the reason I have been married twice, divorced twice and have set up home with a further three partners all in the space of 25 years. Perhaps not! I don't tend to analyse the reason why I have purchased six fridge-freezers in my life when most people only buy two, I just go with the flow because I believe in fate. Fate bought me to where I am now; which is Warsaw in Poland living with a woman who by any standards is too good for me.
I am happier with Iwona than I have ever been with any other partner and I really hope that we will be together forever. Iwona kocham cie xxx .
22 October 2009.
The rogue gene!
My immediate family are made up of two clans, the Roches and the Gowers and being good Catholics, there's a fair few of them knocking around, mostly in Liverpool, England.
To say that I have an interesting family is an understatement. I am not particularly close to my family but they never fail to make me laugh when I do meet them. Natural born comedians every one! They are a fairly grounded lot living quite normal lives often with the same partner they have been with for years, not like me. I have the rogue gene!
It's hard to put your finger on exactly how this rogue gene affects your behaviour as it differs amongst it's victims. But I have it, so does my son Tom, my cousin Mike and my nephew Joe.
I don't have any brothers and I have one sister, Trish. My sister is the complete opposite to me in every respect, she is the perfect role model for parenthood. A nurse by trade, Trish donates all of her spare time to the church, the school or some youth group or other. Trish is the light and unfortunately I lean towards the dark side! It's really not my fault though. I was born this way!
22 October 2009.